“What is so frightening is the extent to which we may idealize others when we have such trouble tolerating ourselves – because we have such trouble…”

“Yet we can perhaps only ever fall in love without knowing quite who we have fallen in love with.”

“Every smile and word lead to a dozen if not twelve thousand possibilities. Remarks that in normal life (that is, life without love) can be taken at face value now exhaust dictionaries with their possible meanings. And for the seducer, the doubts reduce themselves to a central question, faced with the trepidation of a criminal awaiting sentence: Does s/he, or does s/he not, desire me?”

“The most attractive are not those who allow us to kiss them at once (we soon feel ungrateful) or those who never allow us to kiss them (we soon forget them), but those who know how carefully to administer varied doses of hope and despair.”

Essays in love – Alain de Botton

https://www.theschooloflife.com